


Monster

by Crowned_Ladybug



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Platonic Relationships, Signe and Dark and Chase are also mentioned, a tiny explanation as to why i love him and even project onto him so much, exploring a bit of my Anti's character and his relations to his friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 20:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowned_Ladybug/pseuds/Crowned_Ladybug
Summary: "Do you think I'm a monster?"





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This whole monster idea is really close and important to me
> 
> Also, this includes/mentions a lot of our headcanons with my friend Krista, feel free to ask about any of them if you're interested

"Do you think I'm a monster?"

The question comes unexpected to say the least. Seán slowly puts down the drumstick he's been spinning in his hand and turns to look at Anti. The friendly demon is sitting on the ground with a box, his box of personal belongings, between his legs. He stares blankly at the box's contents – some clothes, a few lists full of places he still wants to visit, and a few knick-knacks of personal value. He's been gathering them for a while now, ever since Signe gave him the box and with it a segment at the bottom of the wardrobe to be Anti's to fill.

Anti slowly turns his head, raising his eyes to look at Seán with a lost expression.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" he asks again, and Seán averts his gaze for a moment, thinking.

Anti remains silent. He reaches into the box, takes out a bracelet of colourful plastic beads and fumbles with it absent-mindedly. Seán doesn't know for sure but he guesses it was made by one of Chase's kids. As he watches, Anti gently places the bracelet back into the box on top of a big black hoodie, one Seán recognises as Darkiplier merch. There's something almost painfully human in Anti's movements – fondness and melancholy. His black and green eyes remain clouded as he keeps digging around in his box with no real objective. Seán isn't sure if he's already forgotten his question or if he just doesn't want to rush.

Seán's immediate answer would have been a “no”. No, you're not a monster, you're my friend – but since when did those two things have to be exclusive?

He thinks through all he knows about Anti. He wants to analyse, think his answer over a couple times because he can tell this is _important_.

Anti has a heart, a big one at that. He might not look it at first glance, but Seán knows him well enough. He would kill or die for his friends without a second thought, because he's both impulsive and loyal, and his sense of right and wrong only depends on what is good for himself and the ones he loves. He'd take himself apart a thousand times over just to make a select few people happy and to get just a bit of love in return – Seán has, sadly, seen him do both in the past. It's not healthy, they both know, but Anti has little regard towards himself most of the time.

The fact that he will cease to exist if no one remembers him any longer leaves a permanent mark on his person. His biggest fear by far is to be alone, utterly and forever, and it's a fear no one really knows how to cure. They try with little things.

The box Anti holds so dear to his heart was Signe's idea so Anti could have somewhere to keep his things without fear of losing them to his ever changing dimension of a home, and they decorated it together. It was a promise made without words when they found a place for the box together that Anti is part of their life and will always have somewhere to come home to for as long as they are here.

Seán knows Chase introduced Anti to his kids as their uncle right off the bat and that it still makes Anti emotional from time to time. It was the very first time someone officially and proudly claimed him to be part of their family. The kids, Sammy and Grayson, absolutely adore their strange, pointy uncle. The last time Seán has visited Chase he took his time to properly look at the photos lining one of the walls in the living room. One of them was a polaroid, because those don't seem to have any problems with Anti's glitching. It was a picture of Anti and Grayson playing on a swing set, visibly neither of them realising the photo was being taken. Seán hopes Anti knows that picture exits and that it does so on Chase's wall amongst all the other family photos. He knows it would make Anti very happy.

And while Seán doesn't exactly know Dark well, he does know that he cares deeply for Anti. There's no way Dark doesn't know of his deepest fear either and Seán has a sneaking suspicion that Dark has some sort of memorabilia to remind him of Anti at all times and ensure that, no matter what, Anti will never fade.

In a way, Anti is very, very human for a demon. He can laugh as loud as Seán and make the same dumb jokes. He talks nonsense when he gets sleepy and his urge to cuddle with whoever he can get his hands on (preferably Dark) increases significantly. He gets downright offended if you pull out his earbuds when he's listening to music. He sits on the counter and tries to steal anything sweet when Seán and Signe are baking. He keeps lists of places he wants to visit with Dark, decorated with the colourful markers Signe got him to signal what those places are like and when they should visit them. He bundles up into big hoodies and scarves and blankets when the weather in the human world gets cold and he grumbles when the scarf starts getting scratchy against his throat. He does a lot of little things that make Seán forget that he isn't actually a regular human.

Which is a huge achievement, of course. Because Anti has big, pointy ears, and fangs to match, his eyes are black on the outside and green in the middle most of the time, and he glitches violently when he's upset. He can just up and disappear into electronic devices and fill Seán's notepad with glitched swearwords if he so pleases. He has a bleeding gash across his throat that opens up wider the more upset he is and his tattoos never appear in the same place twice.

Anti is very much capable of killing someone with a single swipe and Seán hopes no one just foolishly forgets that. Despite being a big softie sometimes, Anti is still a very dangerous being. He doesn't only almost always carry around a knife but he also knows perfectly well how to use it. He could permanently ruin a computer like it's child's play, and he could do scary things with all the data he could gain by hacking and stealing. The fact that he chooses not to doesn't change the fact that he _could_.

In many ways, Anti is downright terrifying. In many others he's unexpectedly lovable.

But is he a monster? Watching as he thumbs at the handle of the pocket knife Dark got him from Switzerland with clawed hands, unnaturally coloured eyes squinting as he smiles with his fangs showing, Seán thinks he knows the answer.

"Yes."

Anti's head shoots up and he stares, wide-eyed. He's not sure what to make of that answer.

Seán leisurely pushes himself out of his chair and walks over to his friend. He crouches in front of him so he can look into his eyes properly.

"Yes, Anti. I do think you're a monster," he squints his eyes not unlike how Anti usually does as he offers him a small smile. "But not all monsters are bad guys."


End file.
